haixx .. i had a quarrel with my bro ytd ! i really hate it ! my bro came back and saw me watching tv and wearing my sch U, and he asked me wat time i reached home. so i told him arnd 3 plus. i m really not gd at lying, especially to my own family members. so he asked wat i hv been doin for the past four hrs, so i told him tt i had been revising my history and after tt, i took a nap. so he juz screamed at me. actually i had became neutral to ppl scolding me. thus, i kept thinking of hurting myself to make him regret scolding me. bt suddenly, my heart ached furiously ! tears started to fill my eyes, bt i controlled myself. i want him to continue scolding me. i dun wan my tears to stop him from reprimanding me. i hate the feeling of being petied by someone. i m not those who crys out of problems. thus i controlled myself bt unfortunately, my tears juz rolled down my face. bt i think my bro didnt see it so i juz scratch my face to wipe my tears. haha ! he didnt suspect a thing, i guess. all the while, he had been shouting at me bt i juz kept quiet. i had alot of things to say, bt i know he wouldnt like it and he might juz shout even louder. haix, so i went to my room and cried my heart ! it really hurt my heart when thoughts of hurting myself and making my family sad especially my mum ! haha! bt pls .. i m not tt stupid to commit sucide. all are juz my thoughts cuz i m moody at tt time. oh ya ! he said he was gg to take those stuff i did tt made me bath so late. i did bloggin and i watch tv. now it was sleeping and revising so dun tell me tt he is gg take tt away too ? lol, if yes, u will be hving a stupid panda in the class. haha ! well, tts all. i m juz tt lazy and nasty !