Yes yes, everything is my fault! Blame everything on me. Such trival matters and it has to end up with a quarrel. Why? I just dont understand.All I want is to talk to you about my day and just have a nice talk with you. But what do I get in the end? Reprimands and blames. Yes yes, being there at 6.55am still aint early for a 10mins ride to school. And please, I was so damn right early for the 7am bus, but problem was that it just didnt show up. And hey, I was early. So why did I get blame again? Ask her. Why cant you just hear me out rather than interrupting what I was trying to say? And why compare me with others? They have their reasons and I have mine. Well, I just know that you've a mindset that I just dont have any time management, so probably that's why you're implying that it's my fault for not being earlier that 6.55am... But, I'm just assuming.Whatever.Sayonara`Jol!
My heart is tearing apart!Sometimes, how I wish I was dead right now. Just leave my troubles behind and be free. Ahh~ that's when real "life" really starts.And yes, I've realised that I'm more negative these days. No matter how much positiveness I shove in me, it's just useless. My soul is dying. One day, I might just do something really, REALLY stupid. And that's the day I've really lost myself. No more tears will be shed, no more screams will heard because, it'll just be an empty shell walking. I'm sorraye, negative thoughts just keep appearing in my head and emotions are tearing me apart. I cant help it! I dont want to love, cry, throw any temper anymore. Cause, whenever I want to, I'll be putting myself in others shoe and so, it's being bottled up again. Please, take away my emotions, PLEASE! I'm losing myself very soon.... How I wish I was my childish self, being able to do things without caring for others. That's why they say being a child is your most happiest time in your life, after that, it's hell. I wonder if that's peter pan's reason. Whatever.People, if you know me well enough, do not comment anything on this, Thankyou. It'll be greatly appreciated.
Please, ignore this for awhile.ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!okay.I really do appreciate whatever you're doing however, the moment you ASSUMED that I hated you, everything went hay-wire for me. Your words absolutely crushed my heart into dust! Do you know how much I've change ever since you advised me about my bad habits? I've changed till a stage where I am unable to be myself around you. To be honest, the feeling you gave me is no different from a stranger. I cant talk to you without having to be someone I am not! Whenever I see you, whatever I wanted to say to you just vanish. Like you said, you have much more life experience than I have, so I'm afraid that whatever I intended to say will just be worthless to you. I'm afraid I might say something stupid infront of you. I just wanna treat you like how I treat her. I'm sorraye, maybe I am too over-sensitive that I've misunderstood your intention. But, since you knew that I dont want to go on any further, why prompt? I know that's just you, so in that case, we clash. But do you even know me well? You asked me if I had put myself in your shoes, but I dont think you've done that either. Yea, I know I'm not in any position to even say that. However, have you ever wonder how much effort I had to put in to prevent tears from falling? I tell you, IT'S LIKE HELL! I cant breathe, I cant think, I cant even put my face anywhere! I feel EXTREMELY PATHETIC! I was doing so well at first, but when you said that 3 words, you're just OVER DOING IT! How can I hate you?! HOW CAN I?! Please, you're just putting in the hate for me! I almost hated you for saying that, but I'm just unable to, yet. I can never hate you! If I hate you, why would I even try getting close to you even though I know we're far apart. Why would I even bother to change everything you said you hated about me? I can feel the care you have for me, but why cant you feel mine and instead, you felt my 'hatred'?! I just dont understand. And yes, I really feel very stupid around you. Anyway, you've seriously crushed my heart, to think that my love for you have been mistaken for hate. I cant believe this man! Anyway, I really do appreciate your advise, thankyou! However, that is all I'm able to take from you, nothing less, nothing more. I'll take your advise in mind. Just 3 words.How do you mend a shattered sculpture?Sayonara`Jol!
